The First Four Minutes

When do people decide whether or not they want to become friends? During their first four minutes together, according to a book by Dr. Leonard Zunin. In his book, ”Contact： The first four minutes" ’ he offers this advice to anyone interested in starting new friendships： “(1) A lot of people's whole lives would change if they did just that. ”

You may have noticed that the average person does not give his undivided attention to someone he has just met.(2)If anyone has ever done this to you, you probably did not like him very much.

When we are introduced to new people, the author suggests, we should try to appear fiiendly and self-confident. In general, he says, “People like people who like themselves1. ”

On the other hand, we should not make the other person think we are too sure of ourselves. It is important to appear interested and sympathetic，realizing that the other person has his own needs， fears, and hopes.

Hearing such advice, one might say, "But I'm not a fiiendly, self-confident person. That's not my nature. It would be dishonest for me to act that way. ”

(3) We can become accustomed to any changes we choose to make in our personality. “It is like getting used to a new car. It may be unfamiliar at first, but it goes much better than the old one. ”

But isn't it dishonest to give the appearance of friendly self-confidence when we don't actually feel that way? Perhaps, but according to Dr. Zunin, "total honesty" is not always good for social relationships2 ’ especially during the first few minutes of contact. There is a time for everything, and a certain amount of play-acting may be best for the first few minutes of contact with a stranger3 . That is not the time to complain about one's health or to mention faults one finds in other people. It is not the time to tell the whole truth about one's opinions and impressions.

(4) For a husband and wife or a parent and child, problems often arise during their first four minutes together after they have been apart. Dr. Zunin suggests that these first few minutes together be treated with care. If there are unpleasant matters to be discussed, they should be dealt with later.

The author says that interpersonal relations should be taught as a required course5 in everyschool, along with reading, writing, and mathematics. — (5) That is at least as important as how much we know.

詞匯：

undivided 不分散的，專一的 personality 個性，人格

accustomed 慣常的

注釋：

1.People like people who like themselves.人們喜歡那些有自信心的人。這里的who like themselves不作“喜歡自己”解，根據(jù)上下文，可以解釋為“有自信的人”。

2."total honesty" is not always good for social relationships:在社會關系上“絕對的誠實”并非總是好的。

3.... a certain amount of play-acting may be best for the first few minutes of contact with a stranger. ??…?在和陌生人接觸的頭幾分鐘，適當演一點兒戲是最合適不過的了。

4.apply to:適用于

5.required course:必修課

練習：

A In reply, Dr. Zunin would claim that a little practice can help us feel comfortable about

changing our social habits. B Much of what has been said about strangers also applies to4 relationships with family members and friends.

C In his opinion, success in life depends mainly on how we get along with other people. D Every time you meet someone in a social situation, give him your undivided attention for four minutes.

E He keeps looking over the other person's shoulder, as if hoping to find someone more interesting in another part of the room.

F He is eager to make friends with everyone.

答案與題解：

1.D本文主要講與人初次見面最初四分鐘對于人際交往的重要性。文章開頭以自問自答的 形式提出主題,然后說Leonard Zunin博士在書中向任何想交新朋友的人提出一條建議。什 么建議呢？比較一下只有把D放在這里最合適，因為人們常用祈使句向別人提建議，D是一 個祈使句，它的意思是：“每次你在社交場合遇到什么人時，全神貫注地注意他四分鐘?！焙蜕舷挛囊馑歼B貫。

2.E承接上一段。作者在本段第一句話告訴我們有人并不按他建議的那樣做。那么這些人 怎么做呢？ E說:“他不停地往其他人身后看，好像要在屋里其他地方找到更有趣的人似 的。”顯然此處選E最合適。

3.A文章第三、第四段建議當被引見給陌生人時,態(tài)度應當友好而自信，還應掌握好分寸。對 此有人會說友好和自信非我本性，如果硬要裝出如此態(tài)度就是不誠實。這是一種反駁意見， 我們期待作者的回答。A說:“作為回答，Zunin博士說只要我們稍加練習就可以幫助我們改 變社交習慣?！毕挛氖菍Υ说倪M一步解釋。

4.B到此為止作者主要談與陌生人相處要注意最初四分鐘。從其他句子來看，本段談的是家 庭成員之間在交往中也應注意在一起的最初四分鐘，那么選項B是最合適的了^

5.C本段強調(diào)人際關系的重要性，C說:“在他看來，成功主要依賴于如何與他人友好相處。” 這句話的意思符合本段主題，后一句的主語this指的就是與人友好相處這件事。

譯文：最初四分鐘

人們什么時候決定他們是否愿意成為朋友？按列奧納多·祖尼博士的書中所說是在他們相處 的最初四分鐘。在他的書《接觸：最初四分鐘》里，他向所有對開始新的友誼感興趣的人們提出 了這樣的建議：“每次你在社交場合遇到什么人時，全神貫注地注意他四分鐘。許多人如果這樣做了的話，他們的生活就會完全不同。”

你可能已經(jīng)注意到了，一般人都不會全神貫注地注意一個他剛認識的人。他不停地往其他 人身后看，好像要在屋里其他地方找到更趣的人似的。如果有人對你這樣，你大概不會很喜歡他。

作者建議，當我們被介紹給新認識的人時，我們應該盡力顯得友好和自信。一般講，他說：“人們喜歡那些有自信心的人?！?/p>

另一方面我們不能讓別人覺得我們太自以為是。表現(xiàn)出感興趣、有同情心，能意識到別人有他們自己的需要、擔心和希望是很重要的。

聽到這樣的建議，有人或許會說：“但是我不是一個友好的、自信的人。那不是我的天性。我 如果那樣做將是不誠實的?！?’

作為回答，祖尼博士說只要我們稍加練習就可以幫助我們改變社交習慣。對我們選擇的個 性上的改變我們會慢慢習慣?！斑@就像適應一輛新車。 一開始會覺得陌生，但它比舊車好開?！?/p>

但是當我們不覺得友好且自信的時候卻給人那樣的表象，這是誠實嗎？可能是，但是祖尼博士認為在社會關系上“絕對的誠實”并非總是好的，尤其是在接觸的最初四分鐘里。任何事情都有時間限制。在和陌生人接觸的頭幾分鐘，適當演一點兒戲是最合適不過的了。那種時候不適于 抱怨健康狀況或談論別人的缺點，也不適于全盤托出某人的觀點和印象。

以上有關陌生人的建議有很多也適合于家庭成員和朋友間的關系。對于丈夫和妻子或父母與 孩子來說，久別重逢的前幾分鐘最容易出問題。祖尼博士建議認真對待離別重逢的最初四分鐘。 如果有不愉快的事情需要討論，也應該稍后再說。

作者說每個學校都應該把人與人之間的關系作為必修課，和閱讀、寫作、數(shù)學等一起上。他 認為一生中的成功主要看我們?nèi)绾闻c別人相處。至少這和我們擁有的知識一樣重要。

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